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| my child |
Mornings like this I feel calm, not behind on my list of 'to-dos' and excited about caring for my daughter.
Days like Friday though I wonder how we could ever have more children.
It's not that Friday was a bad day; on the contrary: we had a slow morning, walked, ate lunch with a friend, lots of circumstantial joys....but by the time 6 o'clock rolled around I was ready for a break from any and all responsibility.
As best as I can figure, there are, in general, two reasons for this:
1.) I have a child and a home to care for, both of those ( mostly the child ) are a lot of work (and fun). You just can't get as much done when you spend upwards of 3-4 hours every day just feeding and changing diapers. Logistically it can't happen. Having a baby makes me very, very glad to be married. Knowing that I can hand her to John when I need a break is huge. My empathy ( is it empathy or sympathy? I think empathy) for single parents has broadened considerably since having one of my own. Being that sole need-meeter is a lot and wears a body out. And I've got an awfully even-tempered little girl, it's hard to imagine how tiring a collicky baby could be.
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| my even-tempered child |
2.) I like to try to rest in my accomplished to-do list instead of resting in the Lord or simply resting, period. I want to be able to tell John "Today was a good day because we accomplished 10 things". Which is hogwash. It means I get really busy around 2 and rush to get all the things done I didn't do in the morning. When I speak those thoughts out loud I realize how silly that mindset is, but if I'm not being purposeful about guarding against the "perfect housekeeper syndrome" I fall into it naturally. Being a perfect mother is unattainable, so I try to be the perfect "doer of the to-do list" equally as unattainable but it appears much closer and boosts my ego when I get close. Sigh.
So, back to Friday night; when John got home he was awfully sweet and played with her (she's getting a tooth so fussiness has ramped up a bit) while I got dinner ready. Then he helped with the dishes ( I love this man, and when he does dishes it warms my heart :o).
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| The man I love; who also happens to be the father of my child |
By bedtime I was feeling a lot better. Then I took off for a couple of hours Saturday morning to garage sale and left my better halves at home. The break was fantastic (and I found some great stuff).
My goal this week so I can actually enjoy the joys of each day:
1.) Rest in the Lord during the day and not find my worth in my accomplishments....easy, right?
2.) Actually stop the busyness and put up my feet for a bit around 4 to recharge for the evening.
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| With a sweet girl like this the hard work is worth it. Anyone else have the same issues? |
